What have I been doing with my life these two week I hear no one ask.
OH WHERE DO I BEGIN~!
Nah, I'm just kidding, I haven't really been doing a lot. After receiving my results from the exams that I worked my butt off studying for...I am going to university in just under 2 weeks!
How insane is that...?
Actually thinking about it, it's not that insane: a load of people go off to university/college every year, it's not a big deal, but it feels so strange to me that I will be going away...it's like I've reach a major milestone or something. I always thought I'd go to university but now that it's actually happening...it's a little surreal.
At the moment I have been busy preparing to live away from home, my parents seem more concerned than I am about the whole thing - which is strange because my older brother is studying in a different country (Okay..he's studying in Scotland..) and I'm going to be (depending on traffic) 4 hours away, so it's not like they haven't been through this before.
My mum has been giving me all sorts of food tips, asking me what I'll be cooking ; what I'll have for breakfast, lunch and dinner saying things like "Laina what do you think you'll eat everyday?" like I'm meant to plan every meal I have for the next few months (...assuming I'm going home for Christmas ehehe).
My dad just wants me to learn self-defence. He said to me "I expect you to call us on the first Friday with news that you've joined a self-defence class" to which I responded that there was no need for me to take a self-defence class because the chances of me being attacked are very very low considering how I don't plan on leaving my dorm room. Needless to say he wasn't too impressed with this remark and went all "ohmygod can't you be serious for once" on my ass.
Due to the fact that I won't be living at home, I'm going to have to buy my own crap from now on. No more "I'll just put this in the shopping trolley while my dad is over there getting bread and hope he doesn't notice when we get to the scanny thingy" and that is the story of how my cherry coke addiction started...
ANYWAY, because I have to buy my own food I needed to set up another bank account and sort out internet banking. Unfortunately for me, as someone who hates calling people, all of this needs to be done over the phone. Even though I had to ask the lady to repeat herself many times because I had no idea what she was talking about and I couldn't hear her because my family is too loud, everything is sorted and I have cards that magically give people money in return for food and things.
Something that has recently become painfully clear to me is that: I'm going to have to make friends.
Now, I'm not the least sociable person in the world, in fact I go out with people quite often. The only problem I have is that I find talking to new people such a chore and the awkwardness when you're trying to get to know someone unbearable.
I've had my group of friends for a while now; out of that group the friend I've had the longest I've known for around 9 years, the ones who I was 'closest' with I've known for 5 years. My point is: I've known these people for such a long time 98% don't actually know the
real me and now I have to find new people, be nice to them and hope they like me.
Speaking of which the whole "making friends" situation could be quite problematic because I've decided that I'm no longer going to hide my true self which I've been doing for nearing 10 years out of fear that those people would no longer like me. Behaving the way you think people want you to and constantly worrying that if you were to show your true colours they would reject you - it's tiring.
So I will drag myself out of the perverted closet and parade around screaming my love for dramas and BL films, yaoi manga and "foreign" music and hope to god there is someone out there who likes someone like that...if not, maybe now it the time to accept my fate of being alone forever.
Oh wait...I still have my parents.
So, to summarise, what I've been doing these past few weeks: preparing to live and study away from home like a good university student and hoping that once I muster enough courage to be myself people wont hate me (...I've always been watching a hell of a lot of dramas with Haruma Miura in because I love him)
At the end of these long text posts I usually put a few photos...but honestly I haven't taken a photo in a good 3 weeks...oops!~
